You can't buy happiness but you can buy donuts
I neeeeeever thought I would be a fundraiser mom.
I still get anxious when I have to go to Sam’s Club because I know some little tiny salespeople will be trying to peddle their cookies and processed popcorn on me as I’m walking out of the store. I just want to say “Hey pal, it’s not just you. I am THIS awkward when I see the Salvation Army guy ringing his bell at Hobby Lobby.” I make a B-line every time.
Sales people always make me uncomfortable. When I was in college in Colorado, I was approached by a guy selling magazine subscriptions. I politely told him no and tried to go back to studying. You know where this story is going, right?! He. Kept. Going. He tried to get to know me and complimented me. I was eating a bagel from the coffee shop in the union and he made me reveal I was a vegetarian which then led to him showing me all these cooking magazines I could have sent to my dorm...for one low price, right?!
I didn’t want to be mean so I looked. He kept trying to pull out more information about me to connect for his sales pitch. He spotted a yoga mat next to my things...the plan was to start going to yoga, but I always found an excuse. I laughed that yoga mat around like I did though. 😂 He showed me some exercise subscriptions that I “might” be interested in.
Anyways, I was at my maximum capacity of uncomfortableness so I just told him that (darn) I don’t have a credit card or a check to write him. He was quick to tell me that he can take cash and in the same breath told me how beautiful I was and how he also sells Cosmo magazines. It felt like he stood me up and we floated over to an ATM. But I know I willingly walked over there...kinda. I was a poor college kid and I literally had $57 in my account. And somehow this guy convinced me to pull out FORTY dollars for magazine subscriptions. What. The. Fuck. Stevie.
I handed over the cash and checkmarked which magazines I wanted. And away he went with my money. I never got a receipt, his name, and I definitely NEVER got any new magazines in my PO Box. He pocketed that cash and a hard lesson was learned at 18.
Since then, I have this aversion to sales people. From beggars to girl scouts to even my own nephew! (Sorry Mason!) All of these MLMs (Mid Level Marketing) schemes that try to get you to join their boot camp, use wrinkle cream, and wear leggings with toast on them make me run in the other direction.
So here I am. 2020. Being a fundraiser mom. 🤷♀️
Waylin’s daycare decided to do a donut 🍩 fundraiser for some new playground equipment. I successfully got out of their book purchasing fundraiser by saying I never receive an order form. 😂 Dear God, sorry for lying. Buuuut when were talking donuts, it’s a love language. Especially being Krispy Kreme’s. I actually have a history with Krispy Kreme donuts, and it’s not a joyful one…at least for my mum.
In high school, I played softball and naturally, we had fundraisers too. It was my freshmen year and I wanted to make a good impression with the team that I could raise a lot of money for equipment and jerseys that we needed. I worked HARD going door to door, hustling donut sales left and right. I believe I ended up selling over 60 dozen donuts! I was so proud when I turned in my money and the order form!
We got our donuts in about a week later. It was a good thing my mum drove an SUV because that was A LOT of donuts. Here’s the (donut)hole to my story: I lost the form with everyone’s names, addresses, and orders. UGH! Those poor people whose money I took and never delivered! My poor mum who kept 60 boxes of donuts in her freezer for months…after giving up on finding the rightful owners! 🙍♀️
I never forgot that, so I made sure to take a picture of my order list with my cell phone this time around (a technology that I didn’t have access to back then). And you know what’s crazy, we actually ended up selling the most donuts out of her entire daycare! Nobody ever tells you how much << W 🛑 O 🛑 R 🛑 K >> it takes delivering all these donuts. It’s a good thing I had a cute, willing delivery girl working beside me! ❤️
So, if you need me, I’ll be over here adding fundraiser mom to my resume. ✔
