Don't Hold Your Breath!
I promised in my very first post that I would blog about "the good, the bad, and the ugly." It's hard for me to write posts that don't showcase all of the fun we have as a family, because I truly do feel that life is generally pretty fun. But, if I'm being candid, we have "not-so-fun" times too. Just the other night, we went to bed angry at each other, and that's just how it was!
I like to step away from the highlight reel to truly connect with people in real, meaningful ways. It's important to me that we share who we are and how we feel...the sunshine AND the rain. 🌞🌧️ In order to do that, I have to be honest and vulnerable.
With that said, I sincerely debated about posting this. It seems really personal, but I thought maybe there would be some other mamas out there that have gone through the same thing.
Way has involuntary breath-holding spells. It’s okay if you don’t know what that is, because I really didn’t either. It’s exactly what it sounds like: she involuntarily holds her breath in response to physical or emotional triggers to the point of losing consciousness, her body goes completely limp, and she turns blue/pale. Her body lays there lifeless just long enough for you to unleash a full-blown panic attack and want to call 911.
I AM TERRIFIED EVERY SINGLE TIME.
There’s not a whole lot you can do in those fleeting moments. We lay her limp body on a soft surface, pick her legs up and rock her to the side while trying to call her name over and over without crying myself. Staying calm is the best thing we can do, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the hardest thing to do. 😢
Once she starts breathing again, I can start breathing again. 😢
Fortunately, kids can grow out of #breathholdingspells by the age of 4 and there is no long term damage caused by it. We still have a long way to go until 4.
A couple weeks ago, she had another one. The story would *maybe* (I use that lightly here) be comical if it didn't involve her getting hurt. I had just given her a bath. I always wrap her up in a big, huge towel and we stop by the mirror to wave to the "baby in the mirror" because hello, that's a super cute baby! 😜 This is something we do every single bath night. However, this time, she decided to pee. And the pee just trickled all down my shirt, my pants, and the floor. There really wasn't anything to be done except let her finish! 😄
I took her into the room and cleaned her up. We finished our routine of pajamas, cleaning ears, brushing hair, petting her 3ft tall llama, etc. Once she was done, I opened her bedroom door so she could WALK out of the living room where Ben was. Instead, she RAN into the bathroom...and slipped in her own puddle of pee. Her head smacked the ground so hard...I can still hear it. 😢 Ben claims it shook the floor throughout the house!
I was RIGHT behind her. I should have escorted her out to the living room myself. I immediately picked her up. Ben came running. She started to silent cry, and that's when I knew she was going to have another breath holding spell.
We laid her lifeless body down in the room on her rug. This is probably the first time that Ben has witnessed a full spell. He has seen her eyes roll back in her head, but not the lifelessness of her body yet. It was truly terrifying!
We were able to get her to "come to" where she immediately grabbed ahold of me. 😢 Not only was the spell scary, but now we were worried that she had a brain injury or a concussion. She seemed okay after the tears went away. MIL advised us to keep her awake as long as we could. It was hard to do because it was bedtime. I slept on the living room floor with her just to make sure she was breathing and okay.
After all of that, we ended up getting an EKG just to be sure her heart/bloodwork is healthy to withstand these spells.
She was SO BRAVE for her EKG and bloodwork. I had to pull those stickers off her body, because the technician didn't want to do it. There were so many! And I actually forgot one that was tucked back behind her armpit area. I didn't notice it until we were changing her into pajamas at night! 😭
In hindsight, I should have listened to my "mom instinct" when it came to her bloodwork. I had been putting it off for awhile now. I didn't think the tests were absolutely necessary, but I decided to go ahead with them. The technician seemed upset that the doctor didn't order a vein draw. This meant, he would have to prick her finger and squeeze her blood into a vial. (READ: ACTUAL TORTURE) 😢
We completed one vial in 25 minutes. Then the blood started to clot on the second vial, so we had to toss that sample and abandon the test. We could have pricked a different finger, but I felt in my heart that we should leave. So we did. She had done enough! She was so upset towards the end and truly in pain. She didn't even want the cookie I brought her from Potbellys. That's how I knew I made the wrong decision to let her go through that. #neveragain
Thank god, it all came back healthy! ❤️ The doctor reassured us that she is okay. It was just a really hard bump mixed with a spell...the "perfect" combination for frightened parents.
Have any other mamas dealt with this? If so, let's chat!
