My second star to the right
This is one of those blog posts where it’s more therapeutic for me than to say anything profound or hilarious (the latter being my usual aim to this gig).
Today has been one of those days when I am so thankful that I have Waylin in my life. It goes without saying that there are an infinite amount of reasons for my gratitude, but tonight, I thought I would focus on one aspect:
She is absolutely my Neverland.
In my definition of Neverland, it stands for two things: a place for timeless fun and a place to feel like you belong.
I don’t know if I could quantify the amount of times I’ve felt this, but sometimes when Waylin and I are playing together, I feel like we just slip into a world of our own. I mean, the walls aren’t melting to show mountains of glitter and fairies. But, the stress of my day or things that have been weighing heavy on my mind leave temporarily.
“You are my escape to that fairyland, to which this worldly world failed to manifest.”
It’s honestly addicting, and maybe that’s why I’m “the fun parent” when it comes to me and Ben. It’s so easy to be silly and comfortable with her. Not that this Netflix-based show will be anything significant in 20+ years when Waylin reads all of these entries, but I was watching a show called “Marriage Story.” I never get to decide what we watch on the TV (that is Ben’s thing lol), so I managed to click on it when I was home sick. The movie begins with the two main characters reading letters that sum up their love for each other. While it does end up panning out into a sterile marriage counselor’s office, when the husband was reading the letter about the wife out loud, it really resonated with me. It felt like someone was writing about me.
One of the things the husband said in his letter was that his wife is a really good mother. He goes on to say that she is a mother who plays; she REALLY plays. That’s me! I think sometimes Ben gets frustrated with me when I play-play with her. He’s not much of a play-er. There’s nothing wrong with that. We just have different styles and that’s probably a good way to keep Waylin grounded while her head is up in the sky with me. ❤
She also has this interesting quality about her. She brings me so much peace when I feel uneasy and insecure. We went to a group dinner together and it was uncomfortable. I felt like I wasn’t being included into conversations and no one really wanted to listen to me. Waylin rescued me. She calmed my anxiety from not being accepted into this social group. I will always be her favorite person and that is all that matters.
No one at this party really interacted with her either, and she wasn’t bothered one bit. I want to be her. You know, they portray motherhood as this new job where you become the teacher to a student for the rest of your life. But, here we are…two years in and “I” have been the student most of the time. I really try to use this blog to write about all the lessons she has taught me as she is growing up.
One of those lessons being: Don’t let her have chocolate chips unsupervised on the couch. She turned into the Joker from Batman! I died laughing. Right before I snapped this picture, she said “More ‘talk-lat’ please” and put her arms up like Olive Oyl from Popeye. #swoon
Her sweet little voice hits my heart like wild fire. She saves me from so many things that should make me sad, and that’s quiet heroic for a girl who has only set foot in this world for two years. ❤ I never, ever put my problems onto her (and I will never do that), but she takes me to another place that is far more fun than my current reality.
She is my second star to the right, and we go straight on together. ❤
